The Haunting

11/08/2011

Sorry to just jump back into here like I was never gone, but I am trying to get be better… about moving more outward rather than inward.

So many dreams have been put on hold for so many people, and sometimes they simply just change. In a perfect world, many of my ideas and goals would have just been pushed to the forefront and seen fruition… but again, that would only be under different circumstances. Sure what we have here is vague, and sure I have had good intentions for so long, but now is different. I respect people who overcome fear, and those who possess very little of it to begin with. Everything I do is carefully calculated and taken with baby steps. I hate that sometimes, and other times feeling stable feels better than what it would be like to free fall and hit rock bottom again.

Sometimes, and by “sometimes” it’s closer to “every day,” I feel like throwing my hands up in the air and saying “fuck it, this is best it will ever be with the resources available.” But what wins out, always, is the perfectionist side. The problem is that art, in a way, never has any finite end. You can keep mixing and mixing, editing and editing, cutting deeper and deeper into your project, until you either drive yourself mad or someone tells you that you have reached that point where you aren’t really changing anything anymore. That plateau is extremely important to identify, and that’s where I think I am…. except that I see that higher peak and could reach it with a boost.

Right now this feels like an extremely vulnerable place. I prefer anonymity and privacy and enigmas, but right now it just feels that what’s best is to be honest and expressive.

It felt really nice submitting for copyrights recently because it was something official. It was a new step in a right direction. Now I just need to submit two more, although the second may be tricky.

I am looking forward to having a productive week because I am a few clicks away from doing what’s best. Good luck to you all in your endeavors, and I wish you a good week.

-JJK

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2 Responses to “The Haunting”

  1. Consultant said

    Awesome! very natural and simple way of writing.

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